Building Safety Awareness

Maui, HI—Spectators mourn car damaged after a Costco building...

Thu, 23 May 2013 10:44:58 -0400

Maui, HI—Spectators mourn car damaged after a Costco building crashed into it. The building was not wearing a helmet.

London, Ontario—A neighborhood Starbucks crashed into a car. The...

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:54:12 -0400

London, Ontario—A neighborhood Starbucks crashed into a car. The building was not wearing a helmet.

Wilmington, NC—In a vast War on Cars conspiracy, multiple...

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:41:34 -0400

Wilmington, NC—In a vast War on Cars conspiracy, multiple buildings colluded to crash into officer Adrienne Dillon’s car on different days. In the most recent attack, a bench crashed into her vehicle before breaking a plate glass window attached to a building. The attack scared the officer so much that her car drove for another half mile before stopping to report the incident.

Bourne, MA—The latest victim in the War on Cars, a Jaguar was...

Tue, 21 May 2013 10:01:51 -0400

Bourne, MA—The latest victim in the War on Cars, a Jaguar was attacked by a Do Not Enter Sign, then a pizza shop dumpster, and finally was totaled by the Real Estate Association building. Predictably, no criminal charges were filed.

York County, PA—For the third time a dentist office crashed into...

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:01:35 -0400

York County, PA—For the third time a dentist office crashed into yet another car and the police have finally suspended its driving privileges.

Indianapolis, IN—A car is again being blamed when a building...

Mon, 20 May 2013 07:40:00 -0400

Indianapolis, IN—A car is again being blamed when a building crashed into it after another car had collided against it.

Havre de Grace, MD—Of all things, a Vision Center crashed into a...

Sun, 19 May 2013 10:01:09 -0400

Havre de Grace, MD—Of all things, a Vision Center crashed into a car recklessly and suffered minor damage.

St Albans, Hertfordshire, England—Five years ago a building...

Sat, 18 May 2013 09:37:09 -0400

St Albans, Hertfordshire, England—Five years ago a building attempted to frame George Michael when it crashed into his car. Yesterday, in the growing conspiracy, his car was again totaled by the built environment. Who wants our beloved songsmith dead and how much further are they willing to go to do it?

Port Angeles, WA—A house crashed into a bulldozer before it...

Fri, 17 May 2013 22:00:39 -0400

Port Angeles, WA—A house crashed into a bulldozer before it crashed into another house, totaling both houses. Authorities suspect possible gang activity in this building on building violence.

Bluffton, SC—During the latest in the war on cars, an anti-car...

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:23:02 -0400

Bluffton, SC—During the latest in the war on cars, an anti-car newspaper, the Beaufort Gazette, literally attacked a car.

Ottawa, Ontario—A lamp post and sidewalk crashed into a car...

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:19:13 -0400

Ottawa, Ontario—A lamp post and sidewalk crashed into a car after a building pushed it off the elevated parking garage. The car intends to press charges.

Lancaster, PA—One car was injured when Tee Jaye’s...

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:16:21 -0400

Lancaster, PA—One car was injured when Tee Jaye’s restaurant crashed into it, but recovery is expected.

Los Angeles, CA—The Saab had just ordered it’s first...

Mon, 13 May 2013 10:01:10 -0400

Los Angeles, CA—The Saab had just ordered it’s first mojito of the night and was about to insert its first Pac Man quarter when it was run over by the Blipsy Barcade.

Ridgefield, CT—Ridgefield High School sets a good example in car...

Sun, 12 May 2013 09:08:00 -0400

Ridgefield, CT—Ridgefield High School sets a good example in car crash education by never blaming cars for crashes during “Just Drive” week.

Medford, MA—A CVS Pharmacy raced across a parking lot, crashing...

Sat, 11 May 2013 15:41:00 -0400

Medford, MA—A CVS Pharmacy raced across a parking lot, crashing into a silver Honda. The building demanded that a photo be taken and authorities on the scene are suspecting insurance fraud as the cause.

Manhattan, NY—A park staircase is cited for lack of car...

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:01:37 -0400

Manhattan, NY—A park staircase is cited for lack of car accommodations. Will New York follow Portland’s lead and be forced to allow cars rightful access to all parts of the city?

Owensville, MO—An out-of-control apartment building crashed into...

Thu, 09 May 2013 15:50:39 -0400

Owensville, MO—An out-of-control apartment building crashed into a car as the residents fled and blamed the car for the crash.

Davis Creek, WV—In a move that is puzzling the Wall Street...

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:01:20 -0400

Davis Creek, WV—In a move that is puzzling the Wall Street Journal, a car wash crashed into a Ford pickup truck.

East Hanover, NJ—Theories are developing about a potential...

Wed, 08 May 2013 16:45:00 -0400

East Hanover, NJ—Theories are developing about a potential hazing or gang incident in a formerly quiet, suburban neighborhood. Reports differ, but either a can or a bottle became lodged under a truck’s brake, forcing the truck to drive across several lawns, into several houses, before being crashed into by a home that spontaneously exploded. Conspiracy theorists insist that the bottle or can was clearly propelled from the railroad tracks before the attacking building made a hasty retreat as a railroad stowaway. As you can see in the inset photo, other theorists were immediately convinced that the bottle or can likely originated from the house on the grassy knoll behind the fence. The one thing all sources can agree on is that all cans and bottles originate from buildings. Alex Jones will be reporting live from the site all year.

South Pasadena, MS—In this economy, a medical lab made a...

Tue, 07 May 2013 10:01:39 -0400

South Pasadena, MS—In this economy, a medical lab made a desperate attempt to drum up business by crashing into a car.